How to effortlessly get your kids to pray with this secret ingredient ~ Stand Up, Reach Out

How can you teach your kids to pray (without nagging?) Download this free guided prayer booklet to help your kids do just that.

Beth knows her family should pray more. But it’s such a struggle to even get the kids to sit still, let alone stay quiet.

Still, knowing it’s the right thing to do, she musters her energy and resolve, and starts gathering the troops. 20 minutes later, the family settles (begrudgingly) around the room, and Beth cracks open an eye to peek.

One child’s lying on the floor, staring into space. Another’s making funny faces at the fish … And the third … where is the third?

Feeling frustrated, she nags, then threatens… begging them to try because God wants to speak to their heart.

But the youngest has had enough too, and stumbling up, wails “but I can’t HEAR him!”

Beth stares at her kids, defeat washing over her because she doesn’t know how to help them. Finally, her heart heavy, she quickly wraps up prayer time and the kids scamper off, relieved.

Is this situation a familiar one in your home, too?

Where you have a burning desire for your kids to meet a loving, sweet God…but you don’t know how to explain prayer to them beyond “close your eyes and talk to God”?

It’s easier than you think. In this post, I’ll explain 4 types of prayer and how your kids can effortlessly learn to pray on their own.

PACT: AN EASY WAY YOUR KIDS CAN PRAY

These 4 prayer styles can be summarized with the acronym PACT: Praise, Ask, Confess, and Thanksgiving.

PRAISE

The first type of prayer is a form of worship and devotion to God. Adoring God in kid-language is telling him what they love about him: “God, you are…”, “I love you because…”

Kids can praise God by:

reaching out their hands (pick me up, Daddy!)
singing or playing a musical instrument
kneeling down
proclaiming how wonderful God is

If listing God’s attributes is a new concept for your kids, have them refer to a printable list. But make sure to check in now and then to make sure they don’t rely on the list and simply spout it off without any love behind the words.

Your kids have a good, good Heavenly Father. When they take the time to recognize how much he loves them, they”ll deepen their devotion to him.

Praising God takes your family deeper than “what God does for me”, it leads them to who he is.

ASK

The second type of prayer is the most common, and sadly, sometimes the only type of prayer for some. This style is where your family can ask God to help them in their day, as well as to intercede for the needs of others.

Asking our Father for what we need is a good thing as it develops our trust and hope in him.

But there’s a danger when we pray without the understanding that a good parent might say no because it’s not in the best interest of the child.

Think of all the times you’ve had to say no to your kids yesterday, and the reason why.

No, you can’t have another cookie.
Time to turn the screens off.
Why would you think you could practise your ninja moves on your little sister?!

These nos help your kids grow into healthier, happier, holier children of God. But do they understand that when they don’t get what they want?

We need to have conversations with our kids about the goodness of God (which can naturally come from Praising him) and how a No doesn’t mean “I don’t love you or care about what you want”.

Unanswered prayers can be a way to practice trust and patience until we receive what we asked for or because God has something better planned than we could have ever imagined.

Praying for others

If the Sunday school teacher hears “I pray for my cat” one more time…😂
Children have the most innocent, beautiful prayers…and they feel purposeful when they know their prayers make a difference in someone’s life.

A concrete way your kids can pray for others is by assembling a photo album. Include pictures of your family and friends, then branch out:

Include a picture of a school to remind them to pray for their teacher and classmates
a church for your leaders and congregation
your country’s flag for political leaders
someone hungry, homeless, and sick
workers on the front-line

Your kids can pray for each picture, then trace a cross over it. Simple and beautiful as that.

CONFESS

Confession is often misunderstood. Kids (and adults) can find it uncomfortable to confess sins to someone they can’t tangibly know they’ve hurt. “How does hitting my brother hurt God?”

It comes down to knowing how unified God’s fatherly heart is with each of his children.

A good parent hurts when their children hurt. Think of the first time your child was rejected at school or when their beloved pet died – you felt like your heart would break for them.

You can explain God’s heart by sharing your own experience of being a mom. When they misbehave or hurt a sibling, they can tell by your eyes, tone and posture that you’re disappointed and sad. Let them know how your heart feels so they can make the connection of how sin feels for God.

What should your kids confess?

When they hurt God: did they use his name without love? think something untrue about him? (God doesn’t love me” or “God can’t hear me”)
When they hurt others: physically or emotionally. Did they do something wrong or did they refuse to do something good?
When they hurt themselves: with their thoughts, beliefs, or actions? (“I can’t do anything right” or “I’m ugly”)

I’ve also been gently teaching my kids to be aware of and to confess any unholy vows they make when their emotions are high.

In “Breaking Inner Vows and Judgment”, Smoky Lake Counseling defines these vows as “responses to hurts, unfulfilled expectations, or unmet needs. They can be defined as decisions or determinations designed by the child and set into the heart as templates or “tracks to follow”, until they are broken.”

They are vows they verbally or subconsciously make out of wounds or fears, and may deceptively seem good, but their roots can fester to bring harm and struggles in adulthood.

Some things you might hear from your kids?

I just know this will happen”
“I will never be like him”
I won’t let myself be close to anyone again / be alone
I will be the best at this”

Confessing sins to God is not meant to be shameful, but a chance to heal, which can only happen when we take responsibility and face our weaknesses. Then your family can grow peaceful hearts and confidence in God’s mercy.

THANKSGIVING

The final type of prayer is one of thanksgiving – similar to gratefulness but where we intentionally thank the Giver.

Giving thanks develops trust that God cares for us in big and small, thoughtful ways.

He orchestrates a one minute difference that saves us from a car accident…and He can grant us sudden understanding for a difficult math problem.

He can heal a sick child in the hospital…and he can bring us a beautiful sunrise with our favourite colours.

Thanksgiving prayer is often my favourite because it makes praying the other types easier:

We praise God because we’re thankful for how loving he is
We ask for his help confidently because we gratefully remember how he’s provided in the past
We confess our sins because we are humbled by his tender mercy towards us

All 4 prayer types are interwoven with each other and are beautiful ways to nurture our relationship with God.

But how can you get your kids to pray on their own…without nagging? In the next section, I’ll explain how the free Prayer Booket for Kids can easily direct their personal prayer time.

HOW DO I TEACH MY KIDS TO PRAY ON THEIR OWN?

Let’s be honest. Kids don’t spontaneously know how to pray on their own. They need your example and a template to follow.

In my Prayer Booklet, I’ve come up with a guided morning and evening routine for kids 7+ (although pre-readers can catch on quickly with initial help). It covers the 4 types of prayer, as well as gives a gentle introduction to deeper meditation (which I like to translate into sharing hugs with Jesus).

Now, you may worry your kids could whip through the booklet without any meaning or love behind it, and it’s a valid point. So don’t leave this booklet to gather dust in the depths of their bedroom.

You are the primary teacher of your kids, and while this resource makes your job a boatload easier, you still have to continue the work.

After you’ve had the first few days to pray through the Booklet together, entrust them to their own daily prayer…but I recommend you continue to gather with your booklets at least once a week.

Good questions will come up as your kids hear each other’s experiences with PACT. This opportunity together will allow you to explain more of the Faith in a personal, meaningful way, which will inspire their daily prayer.

Download your prayer booklet for free to take your family prayer beyond the frustrating fidgeting to a loving conversation with God.

How to effortlessly get your kids to pray with this secret ingredient