You’re deep in prayer, you hear a still, small voice and you’re…confused.
How do you know it’s real? From God? Or just your mind saying what you want to hear?
It can be a struggle, I know. When I researched Ignatian discernment to find an answer, I fell in love with the logic behind the process. There are 7 steps to take to hear and know God’s Will for a decision we make.
One of the steps is what St. Ignatius calls feelings of spiritual consolation and desolation. These help us discern whether our answer in prayer is from God or from us.
Ignatian discernment of spirits asserts when we are in prayer, God directs our thoughts and feelings to help us know His Will. Our job is to tune in to what He’s telling us.
how do you feel consolation & desolation?
How do you tune in to these feelings?
When you are praying, focus inwardly on how a decision makes you feel. Our feelings don’t always match the “logical decision” our minds want.
I’ve had many times where what seemed like a good path for me did not give me peace at all; in fact, I was very restless and anxious about it.
Spiritual consolation from God is an unwavering Peace, a certainty, a feeling that you’re being hugged even when external circumstances don’t reflect this feeling.
It feels right even when your mind and heart and others around you don’t always want you to choose that path.
Spiritual desolation is unrest, fogginess, discontent and anxiety. God feels far away because He is not down the path you are considering.
Obviously, spiritual consolation serves as a guide to show us the decision God wants you to make. Our souls yearn for it, like water in the desert.
There can be times when we go through spiritual desolation as a stepping stone to greater holiness – learn more about the Dark Night of the Soul here – but that is a separate journey, and not what you should feel when you’re searching His Will for a specific choice you need to make.
As long as God is Lord of your life and you are willing to follow Him no matter what, it will be easier to sift through your heart to seek that consolation from Him.
feelings FROM GOD
It is proper to God and to His Angels in their movements to give true spiritual gladness and joy, taking away all sadness and disturbance which the enemy brings on.
~ St. Ignatius
godly feelings of Consolation
You’ll know your thoughts are aligned to God’s Will when your greatest desire is to be holy. You want to please God and make Him Happy. Your thoughts move outwards; they aren’t solely about yourself.
Did your thoughts in prayer lead to something good? Holiness for you or someone else?
Our feelings from God should reflect that goodness… you should feel the peace that the world can’t give, even when it doesn’t make sense to feel that way.
You can have God’s peace, joy, and hope in a sorrowful situation. Happiness is short and usually tied to external circumstances. Peace and joy last no matter what because they are rooted in our souls and come from the Prince of Peace.
I’ve never felt closer to God than when my newborn was “failure to thrive” in the hospital. Because of a blockage in his stomach, he was starving to death and the doctors weren’t sure what to do to keep him alive.
It was a feeling of very deep sorrow for me, but God’s consolation covered me like nothing else I’ve ever experienced. I had so much peace. I clung to Him and I could physically feel God holding my son and me.
Our hopes can come from God as well. The doctors didn’t know if my son would live, but when I was praying for Him, my thoughts, feelings and dreams ended with hope. I knew God was permitting this for a reason and that He would heal my son.
godly feelings of desolation
Spiritual desolation from God is a wake-up call that you need to be right with Him. You’ve strayed or are about to make the wrong decision and He gives you a taste of the consequences of that.
Doesn’t feel good.
This doesn’t mean you’re bad or that God has turned away from you at all.
It’s just a warning flag to get your attention.
A decision you’re about to make may seem good on the surface. In my post, “When God says no to something good”, I tell the story about the unrest and anxiety I felt when our good friends asked us to be godparents. We were honoured and so happy, but my soul felt quietly disturbed.
God was able to tell me quite clearly through a feeling of desolation that this was not His Will. Later in prayer I was able to hear His reasons, but the knowledge of His Will came through initially and clearly through that feeling.
feelings FROM ME
For often…through one’s own course of habits and the consequences of the concepts and judgments…he forms various resolutions and opinions which are not given immediately by God our Lord, and therefore they have need to be very well examined before entire credit is given them, or they are put into effect.
~ St. Ignatius
ungodly feelings of consolation
When false consolation comes through us, it’s often a form of “rationalization”. William A. Barry, from Ignatian Spirituality, speaks of how we can “rationalize” feelings of desolation by coming up with reasons or explanations of why a choice isn’t as bad as it is.
But downplaying or denying desolation doesn’t give you true consolation.
Thoughts like “it’s okay because…” or “God wouldn’t want me to hurt their feelings” isn’t really tuning in to your feelings or to God’s Will… it’s putting on the headphones so you can’t hear and therefore can’t admit you’re saying no.
Instead of Peace, you feel relief – which should be a red flag that you’re avoiding something.
You may feel satisfaction or even a little happiness that it’s what you wanted, which should still be seriously considered in prayer. An “easy” answer isn’t usually the norm 😉 But it can be easy to obey God if you love Him more than yourself.
Don’t stop praying because you have the answer you want. Make sure your thoughts, feelings are aligned to God’s Will first.
Your own desires may be overpowering your willingness to face true feelings.
God wants you to be holy and have lasting JOY more than He wants you to have this short burst of happiness. He knows what your heart is made for.
ungodly feelings of desolation
Some desolation is not from God. It can come from mental health, fears, trauma and sin. We are wounded children and that can be reflected in our thoughts and feelings.
A desolation that does not come from God can present as severe anxiety, fear, scrupulosity, depression.
You’ll know it’s not a holy desolation when it drives you away from God and turns your thoughts and feelings inward.
It puts you in chains when you were meant to be free.
Not free to do whatever you want, but free to be loved fully, to be whole, to know you’re cared for, because you know you’re in right relationship with God your Father.
So who’s your greatest love – God or you? The voice you love the most will be the loudest in your heart now that you are aware of the feelings He gives you. I pray you will be filled with His consolation when you hear His whisper.
The Discernment Journal for Moms is now available in a paperback format!
This mom-friendly workbook will walk you through the 7 discernment steps so you can make a decision with confidence.
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